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| #2121 |  | Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN.  FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies.  FORTRAN is for wimp engineers who wear white socks.
 
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| #2122 |  | Real Programmers don't write in PL/I.  PL/I is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.
 
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| #2123 |  | Real Programmers think better when playing Adventure or Rogue. 
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| #2124 |  | Real programs don't eat cache. 
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| #2125 |  | Real Programs don't use shared text.  Otherwise, how can they use functions for scratch space after they are finished calling them?
 
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| #2126 |  | Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a
 computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package.
 
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| #2127 |  | Real software engineers don't like the idea of some inexplicable and greasy hardware several aisles away that may stop working at any
 moment.  They have a great distrust of hardware people, and wish that
 systems could be virtual at *___all* levels.  They would like personal
 computers (you know no one's going to trip over something and kill your
 DFA in mid-transit), except that they need 8 megabytes to run their
 Correctness Verification Aid packages.
 
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| #2128 |  | Real software engineers work from 9 to 5, because that is the way the job is described in the formal spec.  Working late would feel like using an
 undocumented external procedure.
 
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| #2129 |  | Real Users are afraid they'll break the machine -- but they're never afraid to break your face.
 
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| #2130 |  | Real Users find the one combination of bizarre input values that shuts down the system for days.
 
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|   ...            ...   |