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| #2716 |  | People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears.  I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.
 -- Steven Wright
 
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| #2717 |  | My brother sent me a postcard the other day with this big sattelite photo of the entire earth on it. On the back it said: "Wish you were here".
 -- Steven Wright
 
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| #2718 |  | You can't have everything... where would you put it? -- Steven Wright
 
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| #2719 |  | I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
 -- Steven Wright
 
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| #2720 |  | You know that feeling when you're leaning back on a stool and it starts to tip over?  Well, that's how I feel all the time.
 -- Steven Wright
 
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| #2721 |  | I came home the other night and tried to open the door with my car keys...and the building started up.  So I took it out for a drive.  A cop pulled me over
 for speeding.  He asked me where I live... "Right here".
 -- Steven Wright
 
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| #2722 |  | "Live or die, I'll make a million." -- Reebus Kneebus, before his jump to the center of the earth, Firesign Theater
 
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| #2723 |  | The typical page layout program is nothing more than an electronic light table for cutting and pasting documents.
 
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| #2724 |  | There are bugs and then there are bugs.  And then there are bugs. -- Karl Lehenbauer
 
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| #2725 |  | My computer can beat up your computer. - Karl Lehenbauer
 
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|   ...            ...   |