|  | 
| #4058 |  | Greener's Law: Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.
 
 | 
|  | 
| #4059 |  | Grelb's Reminder: Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above
 average drivers.
 
 | 
|  | 
| #4060 |  | Griffin's Thought: When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
 
 | 
|  | 
| #4061 |  | Grinnell's Law of Labor Laxity: At all times, for any task, you have not got enough done today.
 
 | 
|  | 
| #4062 |  | Guillotine, n.: A French chopping center.
 
 | 
|  | 
| #4063 |  | Gumperson's Law: The probability of a given event occurring is inversely
 proportional to its desirability.
 
 | 
|  | 
| #4064 |  | Gunter's Airborne Discoveries: (1)  When you are served a meal aboard an aircraft,
 the aircraft will encounter turbulence.
 (2)  The strength of the turbulence
 is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.
 
 | 
|  | 
| #4065 |  | gurmlish, n.: The red warning flag at the top of a club sandwich which
 prevents the person from biting into it and puncturing the roof
 of his mouth.
 -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
 
 | 
|  | 
| #4066 |  | guru, n.: A person in T-shirt and sandals who took an elevator ride with
 a senior vice-president and is ultimately responsible for the
 phone call you are about to receive from your boss.
 
 | 
|  | 
| #4067 |  | guru, n: A computer owner who can read the manual.
 
 | 
|  | 
|  | 
|   ...            ...   |