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  fortune index  all fortunes 
  
 |  |  | #9911 |  | The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool
 all of the people all of the time.
 -- Franklin Adams
 
 |  |  |  | #9912 |  | The two oldest professions in the world have been ruined by amateurs. -- G.B. Shaw
 
 |  |  |  | #9913 |  | The two party system ... is a triumph of the dialectic.  It showed that two could be one and one could be two and had probably been fabricated
 by Hegel for the American market on a subcontract from General Dynamics.
 -- I.F. Stone
 
 |  |  |  | #9914 |  | The universe is ruled by letting things take their course.  It cannot be ruled by interfering.
 -- Chinese proverb
 
 |  |  |  | #9915 |  | The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common.  Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their
 views ... which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the
 facts that needs altering.
 -- Doctor Who, "Face of Evil"
 
 |  |  |  | #9916 |  | "The wages of sin are death; but after they're done taking out taxes, it's just a tired feeling:"
 
 |  |  |  | #9917 |  | The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.
 -- Emo Philips
 
 |  |  |  | #9918 |  | The world's great men have not commonly been great scholars, nor its great scholars great men.
 -- Oliver Wendell Holmes
 
 |  |  |  | #9919 |  | The Worst Bank Robbery In August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank of
 Scotland at Rothesay, when they got stuck in the revolving doors.  They
 had to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone,
 sheepishly left the building.
 A few minutes later they returned and announced their intention of
 robbing the bank, but none of the staff believed them.  When they demanded
 5,000 pounds in cash, the head cashier laughed at them, convinced that it
 was a practical joke.
 Then one of the men jumped over the counter, but fell to the floor
 clutching his ankle.  The other two tried to make their getaway, but got
 trapped in the revolving doors again.
 
 |  |  |  | #9920 |  | The Worst Prison Guards The largest number of convicts ever to escape simultaneously from a
 maximum security prison is 124.  This record is held by Alcoente Prison,
 near Lisbon in Portugal.
 During the weeks leading up to the escape in July 1978 the prison
 warders had noticed that attendances had fallen at film shows which
 included "The Great Escape", and also that 220 knives and a huge quantity
 of electric cable had disappeared.  A guard explained, "Yes, we were
 planning to look for them, but never got around to it."  The warders had
 not, however, noticed the gaping holes in the wall because they were
 "covered with posters".  Nor did they detect any of the spades, chisels,
 water hoses and electric drills amassed by the inmates in large quantities.
 The night before the breakout one guard had noticed that of the 36
 prisoners in his block only 13 were present.  He said this was "normal"
 because inmates sometimes missed roll-call or hid, but usually came back
 the next morning.
 "We only found out about the escape at 6:30 the next morning when
 one of the prisoners told us," a warder said later.  [...]  When they
 eventually checked, the prison guards found that exactly half of the gaol's
 population was missing.  By way of explanation the Justice Minister, Dr.
 Santos Pais, claimed that the escape was "normal" and part of the
 "legitimate desire of the prisoner to regain his liberty."
 -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
 
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