 |
| #3861 | | Cole's Law:
Thinly sliced cabbage.
|
|
| #3862 | | Collaboration, n.:
A literary partnership based on the false assumption that the
other fellow can spell.
|
|
| #3863 | | College:
The fountains of knowledge, where everyone goes to drink.
|
|
| #3864 | | Colvard's Logical Premises:
All probabilities are 50%.
Either a thing will happen or it won't.
Colvard's Unconscionable Commentary:
This is especially true when dealing with someone you're attracted to.
Grelb's Commentary:
Likelihoods, however, are 90% against you.
|
|
| #3865 | | Command, n.:
Statement presented by a human and accepted by a computer in
such a manner as to make the human feel as if he is in control.
|
|
| #3866 | | comment:
A superfluous element of a source program included so the
programmer can remember what the hell it was he was doing
six months later. Only the weak-minded need them, according
to those who think they aren't.
|
|
| #3867 | | Commitment, n.:
[The difference between involvement and] Commitment can be
illustrated by a breakfast of ham and eggs. The chicken was
involved, the pig was committed.
|
|
| #3868 | | Committee Rules:
(1) Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
(2) Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this
stamps you as being wise.
(3) Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the
others.
(4) When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
(5) Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you
popular -- it's what everyone is waiting for.
|
|
| #3869 | | Committee, n.:
A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen
|
|
| #3870 | | Commoner's three laws of ecology:
(1) No action is without side-effects.
(2) Nothing ever goes away.
(3) There is no free lunch.
|
|
|
| ... ... |
