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| #4681 | | Theory of Selective Supervision:
The one time in the day that you lean back and relax is
the one time the boss walks through the office.
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| #4682 | | theory, n.:
System of ideas meant to explain something, chosen with a view to
originality, controversialism, incomprehensibility, and how good
it will look in print.
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| #4683 | | There are three ways to get something done:
(1) Do it yourself.
(2) Hire someone to do it for you.
(3) Forbid your kids to do it.
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| #4684 | | Those lovable Brits department:
They also have trouble pronouncing `vitamin'.
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| #4685 | | Three rules for sounding like an expert:
(1) Oversimplify your explanations to the point of uselessness.
(2) Always point out second-order effects, but never point out
when they can be ignored.
(3) Come up with three rules of your own.
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| #4686 | | Thyme's Law:
Everything goes wrong at once.
|
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| #4687 | | timesharing, n:
An access method whereby one computer abuses many people.
|
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| #4688 | | Tip of the Day:
Never fry bacon in the nude.
[Correction: always fry bacon in the nude; you'll learn not to burn it]
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| #4689 | | TIPS FOR PERFORMERS:
Playing cards have the top half upside-down to help cheaters.
There are a finite number of jokes in the universe.
Singing is a trick to get people to listen to music longer than
they would ordinarily.
There is no music in space.
People will pay to watch people make sounds.
Everything on stage should be larger than in real life.
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| #4690 | | today, n.:
A nice place to visit, but you can't stay here for long.
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| ... ... |
