 fortune index all fortunes
| | #4981 | | One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs -- but it is amazing
how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.
-- Professor Charles P. Issawi
| | | #4982 | | Periphrasis is the putting of things in a round-about way. "The cost may be
upwards of a figure rather below 10m#." is a periphrasis for The cost may be
nearly 10m#. "In Paris there reigns a complete absence of really reliable
news" is a periphrasis for There is no reliable news in Paris. "Rarely does
the 'Little Summer' linger until November, but at times its stay has been
prolonged until quite late in the year's penultimate month" contains a
periphrasis for November, and another for lingers. "The answer is in the
negative" is a periphrasis for No. "Was made the recipient of" is a
periphrasis for Was presented with. The periphrasis style is hardly possible
on any considerable scale without much use of abstract nouns such as "basis,
case, character, connexion, dearth, description, duration, framework, lack,
nature, reference, regard, respect". The existence of abstract nouns is a
proof that abstract thought has occurred; abstract thought is a mark of
civilized man; and so it has come about that periphrasis and civilization are
by many held to be inseparable. These good people feel that there is an almost
indecent nakedness, a reversion to barbarism, in saying No news is good news
instead of "The absence of intelligence is an indication of satisfactory
developments."
-- Fowler's English Usage
| | | #4983 | | "Plaese porrf raed."
-- Prof. Michael O'Longhlin, S.U.N.Y. Purchase
| | | #4984 | | Practice is the best of all instructors.
-- Publilius
| | | #4985 | | Princeton's taste is sweet like a strawberry tart. Harvard's is a subtle
taste, like whiskey, coffee, or tobacco. It may even be a bad habit, for
all I know.
-- Prof. J.H. Finley '25
| | | #4986 | | Professor Gorden Newell threw another shutout in last week's Chem Eng. 130
midterm. Once again a student did not receive a single point on his exam.
Newell has now tossed 5 shutouts this quarter. Newell's earned exam average
has now dropped to a phenomenal 30%.
| | | #4987 | | Reading is thinking with someone else's head instead of one's own.
| | | #4988 | | Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.
| | | #4989 | | Reporter: "How did you like school when you were growing up, Yogi?"
Yogi Berra: "Closed."
| | | #4990 | | Rules for Good Grammar #4.
(1) Don't use no double negatives.
(2) Make each pronoun agree with their antecedents.
(3) Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
(4) About them sentence fragments.
(5) When dangling, watch your participles.
(6) Verbs has got to agree with their subjects.
(7) Just between you and i, case is important.
(8) Don't write run-on sentences when they are hard to read.
(9) Don't use commas, which aren't necessary.
(10) Try to not ever split infinitives.
(11) It is important to use your apostrophe's correctly.
(12) Proofread your writing to see if you any words out.
(13) Correct speling is essential.
(14) A preposition is something you never end a sentence with.
(15) While a transcendant vocabulary is laudable, one must be eternally
careful so that the calculated objective of communication does not
become ensconsed in obscurity. In other words, eschew obfuscation.
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