 |
| #5891 | | Humorists always sit at the children's table.
-- Woody Allen
|
|
| #5892 | | I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern
unstoned.
-- Ogden Nash, "Everybody's Mind to Me a Kingdom Is"
|
|
| #5893 | | I am getting into abstract painting. Real abstract -- no brush, no canvas,
I just think about it. I just went to an art museum where all of the art
was done by children. All the paintings were hung on refrigerators.
-- Steven Wright
|
|
| #5894 | | I am two with nature.
-- Woody Allen
|
|
| #5895 | | I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on
any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at
parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
-- Dave Barry
|
|
| #5896 | | "I assure you the thought never even crossed my mind, lord."
"Indeed? Then if I were you I'd sue my face for slander."
-- Terry Pratchett, "The Colour of Magic"
|
|
| #5897 | | I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner
|
|
| #5898 | | I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.
-- Steven Wright
|
|
| #5899 | | I cannot overemphasize the importance of good grammar.
What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good
grammar. For example, I could say: "Bad grammar is the leading cause
of slow, painful death in North America," or "Without good grammar, the
United States would have lost World War II."
-- Dave Barry, "An Utterly Absurd Look at Grammar"
|
|
| #5900 | | "I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now
when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still ..."
-- Steven Wright
|
|
|
| ... ... |
