 |
| #5951 | | I woke up this morning and discovered that everything in my apartment
had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica. I told my roommate,
"Isn't this amazing? Everything in the apartment has been stolen and
replaced with an exact replica." He said, "Do I know you?"
-- Steven Wright
|
|
| #5952 | | I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me,
"If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?"
-- Steven Wright
|
|
| #5953 | | I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
-- Groucho Marx
|
|
| #5954 | | I'D LIKE TO BE BURIED INDIAN-STYLE, where they put you up on a high rack,
above the ground. That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even
feel it.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
|
|
| #5955 | | I'd never join any club that would have the likes of me as a member.
-- Groucho Marx
|
|
| #5956 | | I'll be comfortable on the couch. Famous last words.
-- Lenny Bruce
|
|
| #5957 | | I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
-- Fred Allen
|
|
| #5958 | | I'm going to give my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.
-- Woody Allen
|
|
| #5959 | | I'm going to live forever, or die trying!
-- Spider Robinson
|
|
| #5960 | | I'm not afraid of death -- I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-- Woody Allen
|
|
|
| ... ... |
