 fortune index all fortunes
| | #7021 | | First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity, no really
self-respecting woman would take advantage of it.
-- George Bernard Shaw, "John Bull's Other Island"
| | | #7022 | | Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.
-- Helen Rowland
| | | #7023 | | For a young man, not yet: for an old man, never at all.
-- Diogenes, asked when a man should marry
When should a man marry? A young man, not yet; an elder man, not at all.
-- Sir Francis Bacon, "Of Marriage and Single Life"
| | | #7024 | | For I swore I would stay a year away from her; out and alas!
but with break of day I went to make supplication.
-- Paulus Silentarius, c. 540 A.D.
| | | #7025 | | For thirty years a certain man went to spend every evening with Mme. ___.
When his wife died his friends believed he would marry her, and urged
him to do so. "No, no," he said: "if I did, where should I have to
spend my evenings?"
-- Chamfort
| | | #7026 | | Fortunate is he for whom the belle toils.
| | | #7027 | | FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN: #14
Low Blows:
Let's say a man and woman are watching a boxing match on TV. One
of the boxers is felled by a low blow. The woman says "Oh, gee. That must
hurt." The man doubles over and actually FEELS the pain.
Dressing Up:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up
for: weddings, funerals. Speaking of weddings, when reminiscing about
weddings, women talk about "the ceremony". Men laugh about "the bachelor
party".
David Letterman:
Men think David Letterman is the funniest man on the face of the
Earth. Women think he is a mean, semi-dorky guy who always has a bad haircut.
| | | #7028 | | FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN: #16
Relationships:
First of all, a man does not call a relationship a relationship -- he
refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie were doing it on a semi-regular
basis".
When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to
her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are Idiots". Then
she will get on with her life.
A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the
breakup, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, "I just
wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I
hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want you to know that there's
always a chance for us". This is known as the "I Hate You / I Love You"
drunken phone call, that 99% if all men have made at least once. There are
community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need; alas,
these classes rarely prove effective.
| | | #7029 | | FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN: #17
Shoes:
The average man has 4 pairs of footwear: running shoes, dress shoes,
boots, and slippers. The average woman has shoes 4 layers thick on the floor
of her closet. Most of them hurt her feet.
Making friends:
A woman will meet another woman with common interests, do a few things
together, and say something like, "I hope we can be good friends."
A man will meet another man with common interests, do a few things
together, and say nothing. After years of interacting with this other man,
sharing hopes and fears that he wouldn't confide in his priest or
psychiatrist, he'll finally let down his guard in a fit of drunken
sentimentality and say something like, "You know, for someone who's such a
jerk, I guess you're OK."
| | | #7030 | | FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN: #2
Desserts:
A woman will generally admire an ornate dessert for the artistic
work it is, praising its creator and waiting a suitable interval before
she reluctantly takes a small sliver off one edge. A man will start by
grabbing the cherry in the center.
Car repair:
The average man thinks his Y chromosome contains complete repair
manuals for every car made since World War II. He will work on a problem
himself until it either goes away or turns into something that "can't be
fixed without special tools".
The average woman thinks "that funny thump-thump noise" is an
accurate description of an automotive problem. She will, however, have the
car serviced at the proper intervals and thereby incur fewer problems than
the average man.
| | | | ... ... |
art computers cookie definitions education ethnic food fortunes humorists kids law literature love medicine men-women news paradoxum people pets platitudes politics riddles science sports wisdom work |
|
|
| |
 | |  | | You're not logged in! If you don't have an account yet, please register one and get your very own elite (but free) BGA account! |
| |
|  | |  |
| | |
| | |
| |
|
